Letting go of negative self-beliefs?

despite the praise and compliments i might receive by friends and those close to me i can't help but think that they're just sparing my feelings. however if someone (who either is or isn't close to me) has a dissenting opinion about me, i'll hold on to it, dwell on it, about it, and probably accept it as the truth. I can't help but think that anything negative about me is the honest truth. My therapists have told me that my beliefs are not based in reality, but I think that their convoluted methods are only trying to distract me from the truth. I'm told to have more faith in myself and i know that it would probably make me happier, but i also see faith in weak people. why am i so determined to hold on to these beliefs? Do I want to suffer? Have I been brainwashed by negative people? I'm sick of being avoidant and avoiding life.. I'm sick of not being able to open up to those close to me, including my parents. being stuck in this avoidant rut. it's a rut, but it's a comfortable one. except it's not helping me MOVE ON. so how can i move on with my life already? i'm 20 years old for god sake.